Wellness: a never-ending journey

Lockdown = loss of:  control, socialising, structure, positivity, freedom, things to look forward to
Lockdown = extra:  anxiety, confusion, restriction, unknown, uncertainty

I was very aware that I was lucky to have extra time on my hands this year, due to the pandemic. I was also aware, however, that without structure I can start to spiral downhill very quickly.

At first I kept busy with physical activity, increasing my steps, hikes, and yoga practices. I also threw myself into some of my main hobbies such as board games, reading and creativity. The kind nature of certain businesses such as the National Theatre enabled me to structure evenings with family watching their productions, and taking part in quizzes with YouTube channels like Big Potato Games and Jay's Virtual Pub Quiz. I started taking any relevant opportunities which came along, trying to make the most of the time I was grateful to have. This helped me to move out of my comfort zone in unusual ways which would in normal circumstances have passed me by, from turning my camera on for online yoga sessions, to enrolling on online making sessions, and joining a book discussion group.

All the above was great, and really helped - as did the amazing weather we were fortunate to have during the first lockdown. I don't think I'll ever forget those daily blue, silent skies. However I had a few tricky things to cope with this year, including a house move in between lockdowns.

​This is when things began to get even harder than they had been at the beginning of the year. Moving further away from support networks and decreasing the size of my bubble, along with a tremendous amount of stress, a never-ending to-do list and lack of physical and thinking space. 

​Then out of the blue, as fortuitous events tend to be, I received a message from a friend about the opportunity for some coaching sessions. 

Now in the habit of taking opportunities as they arose, I expressed interest straight away and met Sarah Cole, a wellbeing coach. We spoke by phone to discuss coaching and what I wanted to achieve, and when this all seemed to match up, we arranged the first session. I had some homework to do, which was really helpful - mapping out different areas of my life, to work out what I wanted to change, which of these were the highest priority, and where I wanted to start.

​I've had coaching before, but always with the focus on my business goals, never for me personally. Sarah's coaching was all about wellbeing, and what I wanted for myself in terms of health.

​This was a refreshing change, and felt quite indulgent to do. It was the best form of self-care I've done for a while. In fact I realised through starting the coaching that I had worked my way into a rut, and needed more help than I first thought.

​I'm a do-er and an over-planner. Whilst this means that I spend a lot of time on self-development and adding strings to my bow, it doesn't always lead to a calm and contented life day to day. There are usually elements of half-way-through projects and a never-ending list of ideas, which can feel chaotic at times. 

Talking to Sarah helped me realise the degree of impact this can have on me, and taught me to slow down and prioritise. I knew the principles of this already, but there is no substitute for speaking to a professional at a  time, and in a space protected for the conversation, where the focus is legitimately all about you. Each session I brought a goal or problem related to the larger goal we were working on, and reported back my progress from the previous session. I always work better when I have someone to be accountable to. I've always known and disliked this about myself, but I decided to try to make use of this element of the coaching, and as we started weekly and moved to fortnightly, this started to become a habit, and has definitely led to me being more productive and procrastinating less since.

Sarah does practice what she advocates, and on a few occasions where she had experienced something similar to what I was talking about,  it was really helpful to hear how she overcame it or how she applied the same technique we were looking at.

​​Coaching did bring with it some challenges. From remembering to do something when it's new and not part of habit and routine, to breaking old, unhelpful habits. Looking at things from a different point of view was also a challenge, even though it's one I enjoy. I have, as many others, allowed my mind to practice certain unhelpful patterns of thinking.​

Like most, I faced some barriers to coaching along the way. The first of these, despite lockdown, was fitting it into my new schedule of yoga, reading, meditation and cooking, but this was easily overcome as I was committed to it and it soon became a part of my routine. Due to my living arrangements at the time, it was also difficult to manage privacy for my sessions. I felt rather boxed in​ and found it difficult to problem solve and contemplate ideas when I was staring at the same four walls. On one occasion, I spoke about how I benefit from walking to allow me to think, and Sarah suggested I go for one, so I took our Zoom outside with me and this was much more productive and quite a light bulb moment.

I am human, and still catch myself now, launching off on new ideas at light speed, but the series of coaching sessions continually coming back to this theme has heightened my awareness of it, and created a commitment to change it long term. My sessions finished several months ago now, but I'm still working on those same goals, and have had several big achievements since. In fact, I've just revisited the first exercise looking at the different aspects of my life ( 6 months later) and found that almost all of them had improved considerably, my scores doubling in places. A few had stayed the same or gone down, but these were mostly attributable to lockdown and its restrictions.

The take-away: Coaching helped me to focus, prioritise, and create new habits. It taught me to invest in important areas of my life, and trust myself to keep this up going forward. I'm extremely grateful to Sarah for her time and expertise, and rising to the challenge of coaching - through lockdown, from afar, via video. At a time of isolation, confusion and uncertainty, sessions with Sarah gave me hope, structure, human contact and a sense of empowerment.

This set of coaching sessions is the latest stepping stone in my wellness journey, which started 11 years ago with counselling, has included many other forms of therapy; talking therapies, body-based practices, and spiritual enquiry. I've known for years that this is an ongoing process, but every time I undertake a new path on my journey, I am surprised how much I still have to learn.

      About Sarah Cole

​Hailing from the UK, Sarah has a background in sport exercise science (B.Sc), health & wellness coaching (NCC) and a Masters (M.Ed) in educational leadership and policy. She left the UK in 2008 to teach internationally and has worked in Australia, Hong Kong and currently Singapore both as a health and physical education teacher in schools and as a health and performance coach in gyms, sports clubs, and independently. 

Sarah says 'I believe everyone deserves to shine and that changes in the way we see the world, changes our possibilities for action and our results. I aim to create a positive ripple effect across the world by empowering the communities around me.'

You can find Sarah on her website www.cole-coaching.com and on Instagram @sarahcole4coaching