Sticks and Stones

It started with shells. Wandering the beach, a small sandlark, bucket in hand, was how I remember a lot of my time spent as a small child. I think two years old is the first photo my parents have of me engaged in this pursuit - probably quite a common one for most children growing up in coastal regions. It soon escalated to sea glass and then to pebbles, and branched out from the beach to moorland and mountains - wherever there are pebbles to be found, I can be found there admiring them. It's an issue with sticks too, but that's a separate story.

In amongst the fond memories of beach and garden, cycling and hiking, there are stresses; family illness, school pressures, bullying. The latter probably the more impactful; it's not a great feeling to be told and shown continually that you don't belong, to be used and hurt, and to feel alone in a crowded place. 

Sticks and stones, they say, can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Wrong! In my experience, at least. Yes, the friction burns, slaps, scratches and tennis racquets hurt, but the words cut deeper every time. I turned towards the sticks and the stones. Carving sticks (more on that another time), and collecting stones.​

My maturing tastes took me to crystals/gemstones at this point. Or rather the crystals drew me in. I couldn't get enough of them. So many colours, patterns, and shapes. The stark contrast between the same stone rough and smooth. I was fascinated by how each stone had a link to an area of the body and aspect of health. I built up quite a collection which I kept in a pouch, and every so often would take them out to look at them or hold a specific stone I was drawn to or which matched an area of the body I wanted to focus on. It felt empowering to be able to learn about something different, especially something that might be able to help me; bring me comfort, calm, and a sense of connection. Eventually the bullies tired of me and moved on. I'd like to say that was the end of it, but sadly adults bully too. I did get respite between the ages of 16 - 24 though, and again after 26.

As an adult, I've never stopped my shorelarking. I'm still very drawn to stones and pebbles. I’ve never been able to articulate this fully. There might be certain connotations and memories associated with different stones, and there are the more rare and interesting ‘hag stones’ to be found. There are certain elements which make a pebble attractive; shape, ergonomics, pattern, lines, colours, texture, originality, and an overwhelming sense of 'yep,' which is much less tangible, thus less explainable, other than to fellow pebble enthusiasts. Whenever I am near them, I stop to admire, pick up, feel, carry, balance, skim, and/or talk about them. I just can't help it!

 What does all this have to do with wellness? Asides from the obvious benefits of being outdoors and in the fresh air, there is the joy of seeing a beautiful thing, and the sense of satisfaction in finding something pleasing. These tie into gratitude practices - being thankful for the existence of beautiful things and experiences, as well as mindfulness - mindful looking in noticing the pebbles and other flotsam along the shoreline, and the stones in your hand, and being totally absorbed in the stones, not thinking about anything else.

​​
​Stones have many roles within wellness practices and treatments. Stones can be used for grounding, in both the physical and emotional senses – I have made a guide to setting yourself up with a grounding stone below. Hot stones and crystals can be used as part of massage to work deep into muscles, or to add vibrational benefits respectively. Crystal therapy can be used to support the body back to balance, promoting wellness and a sense of ease in mind, body and spirit. Crystals are also used in medical instruments and devices such as pace makers and ultrasound.

I've recently been drawn towards crystal stones again, so have decided to study them. As part of the crystal healing diploma I am studying new ways of understanding body systems, shamanism, as well as geology and aspects of quantum physics. I'm very excited to have started this new journey and am looking forward to building on my learning with a blend of contexts; ancient, holistic and scientific. I will soon be on the lookout for people who would like to be case studies for crystal healing, so watch this space!

Grounding Stones in 4 steps...

A grounding stone is one used to anchor oneself in the present. It can be useful for difficult memories, feelings of overwhelm, busy lifestyles, feelings of detachment, and anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

1.

Firstly, you’ll need to find yourself a stone. This could be one you already have, one from your garden, or one you have found on a walk in nature (if this is the case, please gather responsibly, with minimal effect on nature and its ecosystems) or a crystal you have. Hematite in particular is a great stone for grounding. Ideally the stone will be small enough to easily fit into the palm of your hand.

2.

Consider what ‘grounding’ means to you. For some this might be about taking a break from work, busy life or technology, and spending some moments landing into your life. For others this might be about putting some distance between you and your thoughts to land in the body. It could be about feeling a sense of connection to the present moment, having here-and-now awareness, feeling a greater sense of connection to self and the world. It could be about connecting to the universe, nature, or the divine. There are no strict rules here – just consider what it means to you, both what grounding feels like and what it looks like (how do you know you’ve managed to do it?). 

3.

Next, do something with your stone which marks it as your grounding stone, and pairs it with your intention of grounding. Again, this process will be very individual. This could be writing or painting the word ‘grounding’ on a pebble, it could be a cleansing ritual with incense or water (some crystals should not be added to water, so check this first if necessary), or set an intention with the stone by holding it. ​You may also like to choose a word or sentence to associate with your stone; here are some examples:
'Feet on the ground.'
'Breathe.'
'Right here, right now.'

4.

When you feel the need for grounding, or that grounding would help you, seek out your grounding stone. Remember the intention you set for it, what it symbolises, and what grounding means to you. If you can, take yourself to a place where you will have some privacy and be undisturbed for a moment (in the workplace, this could be the bathroom!) Sit or stand in a relaxed but upright posture. Look at the stone. Notice everything about it you can see; shape, colours, shadows, shine, irregularities, pattern If you feel comfortable to, close your eyes. Feel the stone. Notice everything about it you can feel; texture, shape, weight, indentations.  Call to mind the word/phrase you associated with your stone. Spend some time just 'being' - in the moment, with your stone, with yourself.

As you get into the habit of reaching for your grounding stone, the grounding part will start to happen by association, but it also comes down, each time, to your intention (see my blog on intention setting for more information about this). It may be that you use your grounding stone as and when it feels helpful or relevant, or it may work best for you to use it at set times of day, such as bedtime, breaks at work, or before meals. Some people set timers on their phones as a reminder for these sorts of practices. You might choose to keep your grounding stone near you, in a pocket, bag, or on your bedside table if you have trouble sleeping. ​